Our Guide to Melbourne’s Best Nightlife

Don’t let the name lead you astray – far from being stuck-up, the Toff’s a welcoming place that promises everyone a great time. So, what are the crucial ingredients for a thumping night out at the Toff? Let us enlighten you. 

One thing about the entertainment that graces the stage at the Toff is that it’s diverse. Not content with a slab of Melbourne’s greatest DJs (that’ll be on Tuesdays, where the Toff really shines if that’s your bag), the Toff’s live roster regularly delves into other areas.

What do we mean? What about Wednesdays, where you’ll find Melbourne’s hottest improv, comedy, cabaret and dance acts? It’s guaranteed to fully immerse you in the eclectic entertainment world we find ourselves in. Everything’s on show at the Toff, so come along for a unique night’s entertainment. (Free entry, too!) And Punthill Little Bourke’s just down the road, when you’re (finally) fatigued.

Address: Second Floor, Curtin House, 252 Swanston St Melbourne 3000
Website: https://thetoff.com.au/

For almost a quarter-century, Chaise Lounge has been one of Melbourne’s most beloved underground nightclubs – and they’re definitely not letting up the pace now! These guys style themselves as connoisseurs of hip hop, and they’re not joking, either. If you’re organised  early enough, you can even get onto their guest list by filling out their online form before 7pm Friday. It’s a great way to reserve your spot on the dancefloor! (Free entry before 10pm on Fridays.) 

Also, there’s a bonus for those who are seeking that out-of-the-ordinary experience that’s guaranteed to catapult a great night into a stratospheric one. That’s the Party Like a Rock Star experience for groups of 5 to 10, with VIP Entry for 10, a bottle of Ciros Vodka or Jack Daniel’s (inc. mixers), 10 house shots and 10 red bull cans – all in a 3-hour reserved area with your own personalised welcome sign! It’s an all-inclusive ticket to a smashing night, before resting your weary head at Punthill Flinders Lane when the time finally comes. 

Address: Basement, 105 Queen St, Melbourne VIC 3000
Website: https://www.chaiselounge.com.au/

Proudly billed as ‘Melbourne’s most luxurious and spacious venue, the sumptuous Spicemarket doesn’t disappoint. From the Indian-influenced decor to the luxurious feel that permeates every nook and cranny of this gem of the city, Spicemarket is the luxurious answer to how to spend a perfect night out. 

There’s a wealth of creative and compelling activities at Spicemarket for you to enjoy, including the Cocktail Masterclass on Fridays and Saturdays from 6–8pm. In these classes, you’ll get all you need to know to get in on the action for some of the bar’s most iconic drinks! Free entry on Ladies’ Night (Thursdays)!

And yes, we all know why you’re interested in this – it’s about the dancing. So, why not get into the famous Spicemarket R&B nights, where there’s Moonlit Fridays, a Night of R&B from 10pm. It’s a night of pure, frenetic fun, as you can hit the floor hard for some intensive dancefloor activity before cruising down to Punthill Manhattan for some much-needed rest. 

Address: Beaney Lane, Melbourne VIC 3000
Website: https://www.spicemarket.net.au/

The words ‘Melbourne institution’ are overused these days … after all, what hasn’t been called an institution, from restaurants to post offices? But here’s something different – a nightclub so central to Melbourne’s nightlife that it can almost be called the nightclub that started it all. (And most conveniently, it’s not too far from Punthill South Yarra.)

Revolver Upstairs is a vibrant, retro space, stuffed with decor that’ll bring memories of Melbourne’s lounge culture flooding back. All the fun happens ‘in the cage’, as the central upstairs area’s affectionately known (due to the cyclone fence). Maybe the most down-the-line event is the Tuesday trivia, for those hardcore traditionalists … and if you venture back here later in the week, you’ll find everything from DJs spinning the deepest cuts to a legendary roster of on-stage talent at Revolver Fridays. One things for sure – it won’t be quiet!  

Address: 229 Chapel Street, Prahran VIC 3181
Website: https://revolverupstairs.com.au/

Here, you’ll find an amazing selection of acts and entertainments that will stretch belief and expand your senses. How else to describe just one of the striking events happening at New Guernica weekly, Smith’s Treat – A night of impeccable music and incredible drag – featuring ‘some of Naarm’s most talented hunnies!’ There’s also free entry on Thursdays.

And if your taste stretches to more of the pedal-to-the-metal, try the $3 all night drinks (beer and seltzers), $5 (shots) and $6 (vodkas). With free entry till 11pm, you’ll get a huge night of outrageous entertainment … all in a gorgeous environment. And from 2023, you’ll be able to stay at Veriu Collingwood afterwards!

Address: 64 Smith St, Collingwood
Website: https://www.newguernica.com/

Nightclubs come, and nightclubs go. Not so The Night Cat, which has been an anchor of Fitzroy nightlife for many, many years. Whereas many nightclubs emphasise the dancing, here it’s definitely all about the music. The folks who run The Night Cat take their music very, very seriously – and they’re not joking. Thoughtful touches abound, each making it clear that performers rule. For example, the central performance space is far more than a stage – it’s a thoughtfully designed sightline, allowing audiences a clear view of the stage from all angles, as well as an up close experience with performers. It’s a key part of Melbourne’s ever-growing, always-emerging music scene.  

So, what else can the Night Cat offer the curious patron? If you love a particular band, you might be in luck – many bands have had residencies at the Night Cat, offering the chance to see them live in an environment where their sound is given the respect it deserves. So come in, soak up the sounds, and discover live music in its ideal form!

Address: 137–141 Johnston St, Fitzroy VIC 3065
Website: https://www.thenightcat.com.au/

Here’s an awesome bar, yes – but with an ace up its sleeve. Upstairs, you’ll find an awesome room which regularly hosts comedy or DJ sets, giving you the option between two types of entertainment. And with two turntables split between levels, there’s never a quiet moment. 

With a hip atmosphere spiced up with a full slate of creative cocktails and an enticing late-night menu, Angel is the type of place where you can while away the hours yet feel like you’ve landed in exactly the right place for your wellbeing. With an impressive drinks list as well as a roster of performers you’ll swoon over, Angel is a place that will linger in the memory. 

And that’s before we’ve even mentioned the food – how could we forget? No unnecessary frills here; it’s a 24-hour menu of some seriously intense treats which also happen to be pub-friendly (perhaps with a slight retro slant. How retro, you ask? What about the Blood Sausage and Devilled Egg Roll? Or the Coney Island Chilli Dog? Yep, we said retro – and meant it. Dig in, then head back to Punthill Little Bourke for some R&R.   

Address: 12 Bourke St, Melbourne VIC 3000
Website: https://www.facebook.com/angelmusicbarmelbourne/

And now for something completely different. Melding the boundaries between yourself and your surroundings, Glamorama immerses every person in a pool of lighting effects that will bend your mind and flip your perspective. From the moment you head up those stairs to the cavernous space within, you’ll find your sense of self blurring and shifting, perhaps never to return (or at least, not for that night!) 

And best of all, everyone has played here. From UK’s Scissorwork to Ireland’s Mano de Tough, you’ll find an eclectic mix of the dignified and the slumming, the elegant and the wasted, the loud and the subtle, coexisting on Glamorama’s ever-accommodating stage. It’s fair to say that you never know what a typical night will look like at Glamorama … because there isn’t one.  

Address: Level 1, 393 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy
Website: http://www.glamoramabar.com/

Colour Nightclub is bringing back some of the mystery to the art of clubbing. It’s all about the bands here, and the fit-out of Colour Nightclub’s bandroom will bring back memories of a 1970s fever dream, with more shades of orange than you could squeeze from a bag of Valencias. Don’t let the quasi-religious setting fool you (Colour has set up shop in the building of a desanctified church, of all places) – this is a place for wall-to-wall, full-throated enjoyment which will keep going long after your energy levels need a serious top-up.

So, what could you expect to find in this mysterious orange room? Anything from singles launches to DJ sets, that’s what. Downstairs, you’ll find an incredibly pumping Funktion-One sound system, guaranteed to deliver propulsive, room-shaking bass that will (literally) move you. Oh, we forgot to mention – Colour has a 24-hour licence, and they’re not afraid to use it. So, if you’re after a party that will have you completely forgetting your former identity and becoming something else entirely (all over the course of a weekend of insanity), this is the place for you. And when you’re done for the night (or morning), why not head to Veriu Queen Victorian Market (QVM), opening in late 2022?  

Address: 229 Queensberry St, Carlton VIC 3053
Website: https://www.facebook.com/colournight.club/ 

Often drenched in mist and fitted out with lampshades and arched windows, Sub Club is a haven for a diversity of musical entertainment possibilities. On a typical night, you could be experiencing anything from ambient music with birdsong to the modulated intensity of breakbeat, grime, and techno. Whatever’s on the Sub Club stage, you’re guaranteed an eye-opening experience that won’t be repeated.

And no, the Sub Club isn’t for part-timers. You could still be there at 4am, idealistically thinking of hometime, and be hit by (as they describe it) a ‘hard wall of dark techno, gabber, & bass’. So, don’t venture inside these doors expecting a mild and/or respectable night – because chances are, you’ll be sucked into this compelling vortex. When you finally make your way out, get down to Punthill Manhattan for some shuteye.    

Address: Flinders Ct, Melbourne VIC 3000
Website: https://www.subclubmelbourne.com/

Remember when the charts were filled with amazing music? Club Retro gets it. This is an ideal club for over 40s, with The Gold Room on Club Retro’s newly renovated ground floor stacked with advanced DJ equipment and everything you’ll need to immerse yourself in the glory days – even a light-up dance floor. With space for up to 300, you’ll be able to shoehorn a huge crowd in here for your next late-night event. You can hire out the entire ground floor  – and with a 5am licence, you’ll be able to party well into the night.

And the Gold Room at Club Retro is the perfect place to have your birthday party or work function. Hen’s Parties are a specialty – so if you’re looking for someone to cover your special night, Club Retro has you covered. With a selection of VIP packages to suit your needs and your budget, everything’s covered! (And head straight down Lonsdale when you’re done to get to Punthill Little Bourke.)

Address: 383 Lonsdale St, Melbourne, VIC 3000
Website: https://www.clubretro.com.au/

After all that traversing of Melbourne’s gob-smacking wealth of clubbing options for all walks of life, you’re 100% primed for a weekend that’ll linger long after the hangover’s worn off!